Should Screenwriters be Humble?

What's the nicest way to ask someone to read your script?  It's a question commonly posed by screenwriters, and what follows is my response:

Forget humility. Is politeness enough to make me want to put down the most important thing in my life, and replace it with something of yours?

No. Not even close.

So what is enough? Sometimes it's money, right? Sometimes it's star attachment, and sometimes it's production on another feature, but I'm guessing you can't promise those things, right?

It has better be something in your script, because right now that's all you have.

Imagine for a moment that I have a child, and you're trying to take money out of my household budget to produce a movie. What is so goddamned great about your script that it's worth starving a little baby?

THAT's the thing you tell me when we meet.  Don't tell me you need me.  Listen, my baby NEEDS me.  On the other hand, if your script is so great it's worth killing babies over, then I NEED YOU!

Give me the information that makes the value in your script clear, and THEN exercise some humility. Let me know you've been paying attention to my career, and tell me why you want my input instead of someone else's.

Remember. My time is the food in my baby's mouth, and that's what you're asking for. Is your script worth it?

If so, you'd better make that clear! 

If not, why are we talking about it?

 
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