Astonishingly, it's been nearly a year since I began writing this blog.  One of my first posts, as I recall, was a breakdown of what I hoped to accomplish in 2008 and beyond.  Here's the link.

At first glance, reading my missives to myself from last year is a disheartening exercise.  Really, I've accomplished none of the things I set out to do.  At the same time, I have made some changes.

Barring unforeseen windfalls, my directorial debut will be on a film both more financially accessible and more simple, from a filmmaking standpoint.  Where I was hoping to shoot a movie for around a million dollars, I can now shoot one on just about any budget, so long as I find the help I need.  As a first film, Sam Bailey gives me the ability to pull together artists I know and love to prove ourselves on our own terms, and the work I've done in the past allows us to open our film to the taste and leisure of theatrical audiences.  What more can an aspiring filmmaker ask?

My number one goal this year, professionally, is to produce Sam Bailey and have it seen by someone.  If it's not in theaters by the end of the year or garnering praise on the festival circuit, then at the very least I hope to get someone talking about what they've seen.

Did I make progress on SkyChasers?  Certainly, and it's not the highest priority.  At the same time, it's also completely under my control, and I would like to finish it and put a bow on the development on my three tabletop RPG's.  Perhaps not by the end of 2009, but sometime soon, the world will have a SkyChasers PDF and I will move on.

With regards to my script sales, I've had more success writing than I have getting read.  At least for now, my focus has shifted to getting Sam Bailey produced.  I'll show them I'm good, rather than expecting anyone to read between the lines.

Unified Pictures produced three films, and two of them are hitting theaters in the first half of this year.  Of the three, I own equity in two.  As the year moves forward, I should be able to emerge from debt and begin pre-production.  From there, I can use the resources I've built at Unified to minimize my risks, and to make a much better film than I would otherwise make.

Come to think of it, I wrote Sam Bailey this year!

In hindsight, it seems like 2008 was a learning year, and a year of preparation.

Personally, I've experienced more of the same:

My leg injury has taught me a great deal about myself, and by pushing too hard, I've made it worse.  In my personal life, I've become a more social person, getting to know neighbors and reconnecting with old friends, but I still feel very much on my own.  With the help of a fantastic teacher and healer, I've begun reworking some of the fundamental habits of living I cling to, but I'm learning to pace myself there too.

Recently, I told an aspiring writer that writing takes time away from building personal relationships, from family, and from so-called "viable" career paths.  Coyly, I told her I wrote because I don't know how to do those other things.

Secretly, I hope that my art will actually bring me to those other things, only through the back door. 

In the meantime, life seems to be sending me the message (as I sit here with a bum knee and an impacted wisdom tooth - no walking, no eating)  that at least I need to stop hating myself for it.  If I allow for who I am, then getting what I want will come a bit easier.  In the past, when people have told me to pace myself, I assumed they just felt I was moving too fast.  In complete honesty, I have to admit that I've been running from myself.  This year, life has forced me to take a long, hard look.

So what are my goals for 2009?

• Restoration and Advancement of my Physical Health
• Production on Sam Bailey
• Provision of Security and Happiness

Really, I think that's it.  Sure, I'd love to finish SkyChasers, and sell some scripts, but if I do, it'll fall under one of the other goals I've got going.

So what is security?  What is happiness?

Figuring that out is step 1, right?